For 30 years I've been good at avoiding risk. In fact, I think I'm rather highly skilled at it.

Over the last year I've been pondering the truth of things, finding out as much about myself as I can and then trying to use that knowledge to make sense of the world. Starting this blog was the beginning of a journey that has left me confused, dazed and tired but ultimately enlightened and capable of much more than I ever realised. I've learnt to love people a different way, take opportunities when presented more readily and recognise my weaknesses as potential strengths (dependent on which side of the bed I get out of that day).

Most of all I've learnt what it means to really care for someone and trust them implicitly. It's a curious thing to meet someone in life who you believe in wholeheartedly and invest time, energy and effort into them in such a way that you know that one way or another there's very little more of yourself you can give. 2008 has fostered my belief that it is possible to find people who can match you and give you a sense of equality in life that helps you to breath in more easily and then breath out a sigh of relief that you're not the only one who sees the world this way.

As I write, I am having to muster all my courage to retain the faith that I will not be paid back for all the ill I have done in my life and lose the heart of that trust through the influence of past histories and obvious bonds that over time come to represent things that maybe aren't any more true than most other things in life.

Fostering friendships can be a dark art at times and at others a thing of absolute beauty. I'm inclined to hope that no matter what happens under tonight's sky, that I've made the right choices and commitments when following my instinct and that the belief in good things coming out of bad situations is not something I have been deluding myself with all this time.

Do good things come to those who wait?